I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
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