that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
