we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
i think i just lost a toe
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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