My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like iHOP with fire
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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