At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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