I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
