It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
