My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
