Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize