so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
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Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
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He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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