Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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