Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
