What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
