I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
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