The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
You need Xanax blowdarts
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
