But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
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Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
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You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
try to milk me bitch
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