how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
