Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
