Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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