Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Girls should come with a carfax report
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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