dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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