You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
