my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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