So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
