Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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