so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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