I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
