i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
