Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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