well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
