if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
