I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I showed him my bush... on skype.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
