somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
