But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
