i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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