he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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