Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
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