porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
