So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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