i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
