We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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