is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
