I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You dont lie about slip and slides
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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