5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
