bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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