rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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