so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
