google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
