and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
