I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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