All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
