I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Houston, we have a blender
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
