I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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