I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
