he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
