i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
