When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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