am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
