North Korea, Best Korea!
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
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