so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Do you have feelings for this penis?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize